The Door I Shut

Saturday, March 07, 2009 

In an effort to conserve expenses this winter, I closed off the door to the spare room, or as I like to call it spare oom. This room has massive windows on two walls and is impossible to heat to a comfy level. Last winter I tried the plastic 3M window stuff which seemed to be marginally better. But I destroyed the paint job in a fit of spring fever removing it to get to the only windows that have screens in my house. So this year I decided to just shut the door until spring.  Bad move. And I don’t know how I didn’t see it. This is the room that made me love this space. It is its heart and soul. The light is incredible. I set it up as my meditation and healing space, sometimes even sleeping on the floor staring into the pine tree and imagining myself in a tree house. So this weekend with the warm breezes beckoning, I opened the door and the windows and sat in wonder as the entire energy of my space changed. I thought maybe I imagined it, so I tried shutting the door and opening it a few times, but always got the same result – a flood of energy coming in thru that space. A shift in the light. An increase in the vibration of the whole space. Crap. Why hadn't I felt that shift when I shut it? I most certainly would have left it open. This has been a hard winter for me physically, mentally and emotionally. But, worst of all was the spiritual disconnect that happened at about the same time that I shut that door. As if by shutting that physical door, I shut something out spiritually as well. Maybe I didn’t want to see whatever I needed to, maybe I just wanted to step out for a moment. The result was crippling. I will not shut the door again.  But I will entertain suggestions about how to make the space warmer in the winter.