Relationships

I have been working the VIctory of Light Festival for the last 5 years, first as a healer and then as a Tarot reader. Every festival I do perhaps 20-30 readings over the course of the 2 days. It wasn't long before I noticed certain themes emerging in the readings in any given weekend - empowerment, control, job transitions, family issues. Given the suck-onomy this year, I was mentally prepared for financial issues. So I was mildly surprised when the theme that emerged was not about money at all, but about relationships.

From the scared 16 year old trying to get pregnant to keep her boyfriend to the beautiful transvestite, most of them were looking for some help/advice about getting, keeping or changing their romantic situation. This is definitely outside my bailiwick. I'm 48 years old and my longest LTR is a year. So what do I know about relationships? Truth be told, I have struggled with many of the same things I heard them say, albeit less these days. If it were me giving the advice - those people would be probably be fucked. Luckily I am just the mouthpiece for Spirit in this. They are told what they need to hear. I have learned to get out of the way and just let it come through exactly the way it is said to me. I am often surprised by the things I hear myself say because "scientist Mary" would never say that. 

Spirit also has a way of multi-tasking messages. There are things they want me to hear and they will arrange for me to read a number of clients in a row and deliver similar messages until I notice what that message is. They can get kinda snarky if I am too oblivious until they are forced to give me what amounts to a spiritual bitch slap in the head. Once I do notice, the overall theme is expanded in every client after that. Sometimes it is just a word, a sentence or a phrase but they stand out from the background. And so I collect these random thoughts and mull on them. I don't think it's like this for every reader. 

Spirit and I have an agreement. I wanted to write. Spirit wants certain thoughts brought into the world. It works for me. So this year the theme of the festival was relationships......hmmmmm. And I wonder to myself - Why do we make something so fundamentally good for us so hard? In my own case it is probably the entire train car of baggage I have been tugging along behind me. I spent a lot of time back there in the baggage car. That kinda got in the way of every relationship I tried to build. I like to figure stuff out and I thought I needed those experiences in order to do that. Turns out that isn't true and that mostly I used that shit to create drama and problems. OOPS! So I uncoupled that car and let it be the trainwreck that it was. It was totally liberating. Letting go and forgiving all those owie places that my previous partners and I have created. I wont profess that I am totally free of it, but things have improved dramatically. 


Just as an aside - I LOVE spell check. Every time I have typed the word relationship for the last 6 months or so it has pointed out to me that I have actually typed realtionship. That typo was their message too. We are all looking for a REAL-ationship. IN order to find that we have to first be that - REAL.