Friday, December 18, 2009

A Piece of Me in Memphis


I used to be able to travel with only a pair of flip flops, a toothbrush and a change of undies. I didnt need company or even a destination. I loved solo adventures. I have criss-crossed the country by myself numerous times. I dont know when that changed, but these days it feels like an entire electronic arsenal is required to go anywhere for more than a day. ipod, laptop, cell phone, camera, GPS. grrrrrrrr....... I miss those days of traveling light and seemingly carefree. Maybe it was because I had less stuff and significantly less money in those nostalgic days and there was simply put no other way to travel. Even so, that wasnt the reason I traveled less. Those things just made it more complicated.

This week I got the wild hair to take off again. Destination - Memphis. The meat. The music. But mostly being able to take to the open road again. Strangely I got more and more nervous about leaving as Friday approached. WTF!?! What is that about? What has changed in me that brought that on? I have traveled. This year I have been to England and Maine. So it isnt about going. Maybe it was about going alone. I tried to remember the last trip I took by myself. Was kinda sad to realize I could NOT. Was it the trip to and from Costa Rica? The last trip to Montana? Both of those were only solo bookends with company in the middle. I used to go to Hocking Hills every year, but honestly couldnt remember doing that in the last 6 or 7 years either. When did I give up doing that and why?

Rhetorical question. But the nerves come from not having done this in a while. The drive was long (7 hrs or so). Seems I am not the traveler I once was as far as duration anyway. Memphis is a magical town full of Southern hospitality that warms my magnolia heart and music that is just crack for my ears. I found myself sitting in BB King's snacking down some Q and taking in the delta blues of the band and just smiling. Smiling that I find myself in this new place. Smiling because I dared to go it alone. Smiling because here in this river town I got a chance to meet myself again.

I needed this piece of me back. This piece that allows for solo-ness. Seems I have been caught up in so many other people's lives for the last 3-4 years, that I have forgotten to have one for myself. Maybe have been too pre-occupied with becoming part of a couple, that I nearly lost my ability to handle aloneness. Even at home I have been struggling with my time when there aren't people in it. Frustrated that I was alone instead of embracing it the way I once had. Good to know I still can. Hoping that what I learn over the weekend will translate into a more calm and productive state once I get home.

For now there are sights to see. Ribs to eat. Music to play. Letterboxes that have my name on them. In short, there is a whole wonderful town just waiting for me to discover it.

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