Blue 5

Wednesday, May 20, 2009 

The Universe speaks to me - always has.  Chances are it speaks to you too, if you are quiet and pay attention.  It speaks loudest to me in the Dreamtime - that place between wakefulness and sleep.  But it gets its point across in other ways as well.  A word that jumps out at me, like ANVIL, as not part of the everyday lexicon.  Repeated sightings of a certain animal - right now there are lots of zebra sightings. Stories repeated around a certain theme - letting go, repeating life lessons, the cosmic hammer - that come at me from various angles and sources.   And it isn't the same for everyone.  My brother Phil finds spare change and hats.  So, maybe the Universe wants him to see how abundant his life is and to cover his growing bald spot.  Dunno.  The meaning of that is for him to discern.  I have always found cards. Generally playing cards, but also business cards, Tarot cards and yesterday a single UNO card.  I saw it in the parking garage at work and felt compelled to pick it up just as I always do.  A blue 5. I put it on the bumper of a mini-van as I walked by and kept walking.  And I didn't think about it again.   So today when I went back out to the garage to get something out of my car that I had forgotten, I wasn't really surprised to see that same card directly in my path again.  Different side of the garage.  2 floors ABOVE where I left it yesterday.  Hard to rationalize that it had fallen off on the mini-van's way out, as out=down not UP.  So, I quietly picked it up and listened for the message I had wanted to ignore yesterday.   To start with, I HATE 5's.  Is that crazy? I'm not kidding.  The weird combo of curves and angles.  The switching directions.  They are like a chaos number for me (more on chaos later).  And the blue - no brainer - blue is emotions and for me in particular, sadness.  And the fact that it was an UNO card rather than a standard playing card told me exactly what part of my life this referred to, as someone I know recently coined the phrase Huno Nuno to describe the H1N1 Mexican flu.   Ruh-roh Raggy.  No wonder I had tried to foist it off on someone else.  It clearly meant those things.  Perhaps I understood that yesterday and that is why I left the card behind?  I have been in a deep emotional funk for the past couple months, have felt more alone than at almost any other time in recent memory despite having the best friends and quite a few family members who are as loving and supportive as I can imagine.  OK, but why re-inforce something I already know?  I'm sad.  I get it.  Much less beat me over the head with it, so to speak.  Maybe I was missing something.  I gave it another shot and when I probed deeper I discovered a calmer blue without the overriding sadness.  A place of calm acceptance.  Yes, a calm in the center of the chaos.  SWEEEEEEET.   Good Message.  Understanding that place is there in the midst of the turmoil, encourages me to look for it, to step into it and to become it.