Even so, there are words that I don't like. I am really not fond of the word cunt as it is always used as a pejorative. You won't ever hear me say it - sorry Eve Ensler. Others that I don't like for how they feel in my mouth vibrationally like rhythm. Some that I treat like red-haired step children because of what they represent - words like rape, hate and Republican.
Now that we have established where I am, there is one word that I would like to see banished from the English language - a real off-with-it's-head kinda word. Truthfully, I have nothing against the word itself. It represents a lovely if unattainable abstract concept. It is what we do in the name of this poor word that makes me loathe it.
If I could, I would get rid of it so as to free people from it's tentacles. That word is....
PERFECTION.
It is the lament when I look in the mirror.
It dammed words inside me.
It whithered love.
It kept me from trying.
It kept me alone.
I have learned to see myself as perfect just like I am, but seriously that was/is a bitch. It would just be easier if the concept were purged. Then we could no longer compare and contrast ourselves to someone or something else and find ourselves the wanting. We would be free to become everything we are.
Read back: It is what we do in the name of this poor word that makes me loathe it.
ReplyDeleteSurely if we don't strive for perfection we don't improve? Its not that we don't reach perfection that causes the problems its the judgement of the journey that causes offence.
ReplyDeleteFor example..
I am not perfect.
I seek to be perfect.
I am happy with who I am and the journey I am making to attempt to reach perfection.
The only problem comes when I cease to be happy with the journey.
Imagine an athlete who accepted who he was now and didn't want to improve and perfect his performance ?
I only offer this as an opinion
RJRDaydreamer
I appreciate you weighing in RJR. I am happy to hear that you are well-balanced enough to hold both the concept of perfection and imperfection equally. That is rare in my experience.
ReplyDeleteSome of us use our imperfection as a stick to beat ourselves up, or have in the past. It is just an encouragement to stop doing that, to let the ideal go until such time as you are strong enough in who you are to be able to pick it up again without using it to prevent any growth for fear of looking less than perfect.
You took the words right out of my mouth, Blue, that some of us use our imperfection as a stick to beat ourselves up.
ReplyDeleteIn my observation the problem is that we look at others in our peer group and pick out a "perfect" quality in each of them, we then magically mix these qualities in ours heads and create a composite perfect individual to measure ourselves against.
ReplyDeleteFred is a great teacher
Bill is so witty
Alan is so handsome
I so wish I could be a Handsome witty teacher as well... but what about all the individual negatives the three heroes have ... That's when we really start beating ourselves with the stick of perfection.
As always only an opinion
Ps loved feeding the fish ;)
RJRDaydreamer
...and the fish love being fed. Gluttinous buggers.
ReplyDeleteI am interested in your views on this.
Wondering if there is a difference across gender lines or cultural ones (you are queued up somewhere across the pond, non?).
Women in the States seem especially prone to whomp themselves around for pretty much anything that makes them stand out from the herd - whether that is a good thing like smart or a less optimal thing like poor. Instead of celebrating our individuality, this practice makes us ashamed of anything that is unusual/interesting/wonderful.
I am concerned that if that doesn't change, we will end up a nation of Paris Hiltons. In which case I am moving to Canada.
Yes you are correct, I am a native of England.
ReplyDeleteI think perhaps there are several influences that make me hold the opinions I do. The following not intended to influence others opinions but to explain why I hold the views I do.
I would suggest a couple of things.
I think that in general terms, females are more prone to feeling inadequate with reference to seeking perfection. I would go further and say that is because they have not held the correct level of equality they deserve, due to discrimination by men (My that makes me sound like a feminist)
Men on the other hand seem to be more laid back and accepting of their faults, this could also be taken as them being lazier !
I think that the previous statement holds true in most western societies be it US or UK.
My thoughts are based on observation but also on the background of a strong Christian / LDS (Mormon) faith.
My belief in this area is that Christ commanded us to be perfect " Be ye therefore perfect" Matt 5:48 I understand that many non LDS take issue with this, thinking we are therefore trying to elevate ourselves to be God like. We don't consider this blasphemy but a very real goal set of trying to emulate God and be all that we can be. Or as non LDS writer Marianne Williams penned so much better than I could
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others"
Now the acceptance you mentioned I have of imperfection is based on an understanding that I have no way of achieving this lofty goal in this life but that I
a) have an Eternity to work this one out and
b) the mission of Christ was to overcome our imperfections and pay the price. Hence we are saved by grace after all we can do.
Having just re read this comment I'm sorry its probably longer than your original post and perhaps more than you bargained for when you said you were interested in my opinions on the matter ! Feel free to delete it if so
Til our next discussion !
RJRDaydreamer
In conclusion "who are you not to shine !
I found this last one in the spam folder. Didn't even know the blog had one! Thx for weighing in on this RJR.
ReplyDeleteWhile I am not a Christian, I respect all world views and won't edit out anyone who's voice is compassionate and tolerant as well. I love the idea of being able to engage in an open forum around....well.....pretty much everything.