The Thunk and the Whoosh

I'm sure the primitive architects of Stonehenge had a moment as they prepared to place the huge sarcens.  The tension preceding letting it go, almost unbearable.  The huge slabs were carted from distant venues and hand-shaped to fit together.  Would the stone break?  Would it be seated crooked?  They held their breath and watched as it slid easily home with a reverberating 'thunk'.  Straight and tall.  As if it had always been there.  All tension expelled in a single 'Whoosh'.

There are moments in my life that have that same 'thunk' and 'whoosh'.  Moments that were just supposed to be.  Moments where the first drop flows into something larger and better like stalactites growing on the cave ceiling.  They are always preceded by extreme tension as things clog at the bottleneck.  Then 'Thunk' as things are released and fall into an easy natural place followed by the 'Whoosh' of things flowing freely again.

Recently, I have been in that breath-holding phase of the bottleneck over my career.  Trying to remind myself of the importance of oxygen and how breathing is good for that.  But I think I heard the faint rumble of things beginning to slide into place.  My ears perked for that 'Thunk'.  The backup started a week ago when I realized that I couldn't sit on my butt and do nothing forever and that it was time to get a move on it.  Decide what I was going to do next.  That led to twirling mad carnival thoughts, an overdose of funnel cakey stomachache, and puke-em-up ride disorientation.  Welcome to Crazytown bee-yotch says the clown in my head.  (And you wonder why I don't like clowns).

After careful deliberation, when I can get the crazy quiet enough to actually think, science is what comes next.  It is my passion.  It is the constant that keeps me grounded, keeps me exploring, keeps my brain busy with real thinking so that the carnival-y thinking can be packed away and carted off to the next town.  Buh-bye!

That started the vision. The planets (and some really great allies/friends) aligned to put me where I need to be and to start pushing against the block.  Less than a week later, there is the 'thunk' I needed.   The funny thing is there is no job.  The one I thought I was going to interview for, was offered to someone else today.  I still have an interview on Tuesday for a job that doesn't exist - YET!  I trust that it will be.  That this is where I am going to be.  I don't know how it is going to work out.  But it will because I feel 'home' when I think about it.  God I have missed that.

And just a note to my circus peeps: could you please put up the net just in case I miss the trapeze?

Photo by Duz of me at Stonehenge.  5/09