2011 Rant #2

I am a reasonably intelligent woman.  You would think that I could figure out whatever I turn my mind to.  But no.  This is full of the most obscure meaningless jargon that it makes me tear out my hair after only a few minutes.

In the last month I have been looking around for a policy less expensive than the $370/mo that my former employer's COBRA will cost me.  I have encountered many things that were just full of YUCK and hair-tearing.  So here are my suggestions to the big behemoth that is health insurance.

1).  Don't have your computer call me or even dial my number.  Really?  Why would I want to do business with a company that fails to see me as important enough to warrant a real human representative with whom to deal.  NEXT!

2).  To the sales person on the other end.  Please LISTEN to what I am saying.  I know what I want.  You cannot supersize this order.  Be happy with the sale.  If you aren't listening to me now, I doubt you will listen when I need to file a claim.  NEXT!

3).  Leave the 'tude at home.  I can't tell you how many of these insurance sales people are HOSTILE!  Maybe you are used to talking to people who are equally angry and full of attitude.  One might think that you would then LOVE talking to someone who is polite and respectful.  See #1 - why would I want to deal with a company whose front person is angry and aggressive?   NEXT!

4).  Hidden charges SUCK.  Can you just tell us up front how much it's gonna cost to be overweight, or smoke, or whatev?  If you are hiding things like that and springing them on me now, it makes me wonder what else you are hiding that you will spring on me later?  NEXT!

5).  Obscure language.  What is the point?  I hate things that are made deliberately obtuse so as to create a specialized niche for someone to serve as interpreter.  To make something so unintelligible that you have to have someone explain it to you is humiliating.  Often someone less educated.  It isn't rocket science.  I should be able to easily understand and apply for this online, be evaluated within 24 hours (after all isn't my entire medical history public record?) and given a finalized quote.

6).  Finally price point.  I haven't really thought about this because my employer has been subsidizing the cost of this for the last 25 years.  But DAYUM!  Really?  This is some kinda ponzi scheme if ever I have seen one.  I have had fantastic coverage for all those years and used it proactively as I should to have all the routine tests required.  For an American woman approaching 50, my health is really good.  I doubt I will even use the insurance over the next 3 months.  WTF!?!  Why would I pay the equivalent of 2 months rent for something I wont even use.  YIKES!