Putting the Fun in DysFUNctional

Lots of holiday YIKES going on around me.  I want no truck with that.  But sometimes it creeps up on me and mows me the fuck over.  I can feel it in my body, a certain tightness in the neck and shoulders that is the result of carrying so much on one pair of standard issue woman's shoulders.  Despite their larger than average size, they really don't hold more, which is clearly a case of false advertising if you ask me.  I don't usually feel it until my shoulders are relocated to the vicinity of my ears.  That is my call to action or inaction.

After a couple of days ripe with this foulness, I am taking a break, shrugging off the weight of it all and coming back to a place that is just me.  A place of happy muchness.  I brewed up a lovely cuppa jasmine tea.  Its scent insanely calming and its ability to unwind the tightness oh so welcome.  Breathing in warm spring nights, the radiance of the sun and the seduction of vines heavy with perfumed flowers.  Ahhhh....the shoulders sag to a biologically safe position.  

Now - about the fam.  I love them all, but sometimes I wish it were easier.  Wish that any of my siblings spoke to any of the others.  Wish that I were not the glue that held the pieces together.  Wish I could just not give a flying fuck about any of it and walk away.  Maybe this is just the way of things in Boyworld (Reason # 3542 that Girlworld is superior).  If Santa could deliver even one of those things I would kiss his sleigh-flattened ass.

Things were cohesive once, but like a shattered magnet unable to be reassembled once each piece has established its own polarity.  No amount of trying will make it what it was once.  So this year I am not going to try to do that.  (Really? Why did I ever?  I blame Norman Rockwell and every other holiday image that pollutes my grey matter.)  This year I am accepting each piece AS IS.  No that isn't it.  I think I do that already hence the glue status.  I am going to stop expecting everyone else to accept the AS IS-NESS of the other pieces.  Yes - that's it.  If they can't see the value of something because all they see is the crack, then that's on them.  I see us as we are and let me tell you - we are all fucking cracked!