HoHoHoHoHum

Yeah, it's that time of year again.  Snow, ass-inducing cookies, presents.  You all know the drill.  Some years I get all into it, decorate, bake, shop.  Other years not so much.  This is one of the years of less muchness.  Not quite maximal bah humbuggy, but approaching that asymptote.  No tree, no presents.  

My stocking is up, but I will admit I forgot to take it down last year and decided to leave it up.  I was hoping it would induce gift giving, but sadly no.  I would be happy if it could just pass another day like any other.  If I must endure it, maybe the red dude could tie me up, throw me on his sleigh and drop my ass off in Samoa.  In the very least, he could leave me a Samoan dude as a substitute if the sleigh is too full.  I happen to know for a fact that Troy Polamalu isn't busy this week.  

Dear Santa,

I have been a good person this year (refs on request). Please take me someplace where it's hot, where clothing is minimal, and where round is a friendly shape instead of universally loathed.   I have included a map for your convenience with the destination marked.  Or if you are navigating by GPS South 14º20', West 170º00' should get me close enough for North Pole work.  

You know where the cookies are.  Help yourself.  And please curb the reindeer this year.  

M