I belong to an on-line PCOS support group.  I firmly believe in the notion of women diagnosed with this shit-tastic disease supporting one another.

Recently one of the members posted a question about how women dealt with never having children (infertility is one of the major pieces of this particular puzzle).  The thread was commandeered by a young woman passing out advice like TicTacs.  The problem I have with this is that the woman in question HAS children, as evidenced by her repeated baby crowing on the thread, and is giving advice to woman who don't.

Ummmm....yeah.  Took about 10 seconds for her to start some flame war with another woman who was trying to address the question asked.  When the thread turned on her, the way it always will, she resulted to finger pointing and blame shifting trying to make it the other woman's fault. Her last dozen posts were something to the effect that 'it takes just one person to carry on an argument by not letting it go'.

Anyone else see the logistical issue in that?  Yeah, you're smart.  It probably took you less than 5 seconds to spot it.  Not sure how arguments go with her, but pretty sure it takes 2 people who won't let it go.  Sat on my hands to resist saying that.  She wouldn't have heard it anyway, so it would have been a wasted effort.

My major issue with the group is the aforementioned baby crowing.  Infertility is a deep deep pain for some women on the board.  Everyone is happy when someone finally conceives after years of trying.  But it's a little bittersweet too in that you weren't the lucky one.  The most annoying posts are the ones that keep on posting and posting and posting about their baby lottery luck as if it is something more than that - LUCK.  That seems insensitive to me.

I suspect it's a reflection of the age of the women in the group.  Most women my age 50+ probably weren't diagnosed and spent a whole lifetime feeling crappy and hating their bodies for not being able to produce children (and all the other things that PCOS brings).  Women in their twenties got a diagnosis, got treatment and are sometimes able to conceive.  They understand.  We came to our understanding too late to change anything.  Women my age are super-sensitive to the whole baby issue and are generally polite about it.  Women in their twenties haven't struggled long enough to have learned to tone it down.

I try to be forgiving.

But mostly I want to bitch slap these stupid girls for hurting other women and then trying to blame them for feeling hurt.