I have let myself fall out of the habit of writing over the past year. Work has gotten busier, my favorite place to hypercaffeinate and write - the one with the perfect ass to table ratio - closed and I have yet to find a suitable substitute. Yeah - sounds like excuses to me too.
The same ones I make about losing weight, about cleaning the house, about not laying down for a 3 hour "nap." Something is deeply off kilter in my head again. I'm constantly bitchy and tired and work seems to occupy an ever increasing amount of my time and energy. WTF!?!??? I mean WTF!!!!
I like work. I know how to operate there. But honestly, it isn't worth every ounce of energy I have. And things at work don't need to be constantly double and triple stacked so every minute of every day and more are busy.
The real question is why? Why have I allowed it to get this way? Used to be mom took up more space, but that hasn't been so for over a year. I just never did anything in the time I reaquired. No I take that back, I slept. Long glorious fit free sleep that my body needed. And never one to do things in half measures, sleep became a thing of its own.
Because it's the time of year when I make room for what's coming and plan in so much as I ever do, I am working toward the following:
To move out of the apt, out of Ft. Thomas and into a house? Part of me is a hell yes on this. Part is still um FUCK no! I am afraid that moments after I move I will retire and now be stuck in a house with a 30 year mortgage and no equity.
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