It's Thanksgiving. I'm at work. My choice. It will be a short day and I will go home to lounge in my penguin pants, watch movies and eat chicken risotto. I will not eat turkey or watch football or fall asleep on the couch (OK maybe I will do that). I most certainly will not be spending it with my family.
It isn't that I don't have anywhere to go. I had at least five stellar offers from people I adore.
I turned them all down.
If you are one of the kind people who invited me to join you. Big thanks.
I used to do the BIG family Thanksgiving. For 50+ years I did that because it was what was expected. I endured conversations (term used loosely as no one really listened) at decibel levels equivalent to a Boeing 747 taxiing down the runway. I endured political diatribes against everything I believe in and hold most dear. I endured judgment oozing from every dish on the table that felt like poison in my mouth. I endured pity for my eternally single life. Mostly I endured sitting at the same table as my abuser and pretending we were one happy family.
I endured - until I couldn't.
Those were a mockery of Thanksgiving. I was not grateful for a single one. And every time I had to say what I WAS grateful for - I lied. There was NOTHING to be thankful for in any part of this day from hell. (I will make an exception for the invention of the broccoli-pault which was sheer genius).
In truth, I am so scarred up by those past 50 or so Thanksgivings, it's better for me to look at it as just another day. Less crap gets stirred up.
Some year I may go back to celebrating with friends, but for now I choose to celebrate alone. I celebrate me. I celebrate all the things I have to be grateful for. Including the bad grammar of the previous sentence. I will be as happy as a hog in slops padding around in my slippers all by myself. It will be the perfect Thanksgiving. And it will work its magic to make me hate this day a little less.
Everyone's Thanksgiving should be what they need it to be. I am finally making mine what suits me best. I hope yours does likewise.