Someone handed me a book with a title similar to that. I read it. I ended up reading the entire trilogy. I found it engaging enough, if a bit tedious and repetitious at times. Honestly, there were times I think the author recycled certain parts of it verbatim. But I found the conversation, in particular the series of e-mails, to be fresh and funny. It's a damn site better written than the Twilight novels that initially spawned it as a fan book. For anyone who thinks they might read it, be prepared for sex. Lots and lots of sex. Non-stop sex. It's the vehicle through which the author develops the characters.
The main characters in the book engage in some 'kinky fuckery' as they term their BDSM (bondage/dominance/sadomasochistic) relationship. I don't have a problem with that or I wouldn't have read it. I have no problem with alternative practices in general. I, myself, have been in a relationship that had some elements like that - mostly those of restraint and control. No pain. I think that's that part I found unsettling - the deliberate infliction of pain and its association with pleasure. To me that is not love or romance or anything like that. But if that's what two consenting adults agree to, then have at it.
The part that really perched in my head though and made me want to blog about it, is the idea that someone who engages in this kind of behavior as a coping mechanism can be 'fixed' by the right woman. Of course this is the premise for ALL romance novels, that the rake, the bad boy, the aloof man can be made over just by meeting the right woman. TRIPE! And I worry that, given the popularity of this book, naive or undiscerning women will begin to think it is OK if their partner beats them because he gets off on it. That if they just hang in there, he will change into some better version of himself.
That worries me. I have been there and it isn't romantic. It's abusive.
I've been tempted to read this series. I appreciate your thoughtful review...far better than what I've gleaned at Amazon. JP
ReplyDeletethanks for writing that. I start voicing those fears and women at work/ girlfriends et al pounce on me as I have snatched their toy :(
ReplyDeleteWell, having read the trilogy like yourself I took the BDSM aspect of the book for exactly what it was... a consenting, entered into set of experiences with rules, guidelines and a strict code of conduct. I don't see how a trusting, consenting pain and pleasure relationship could be compared to an 'abusive' one where there are no 'hard limits' and 'safe words'? s
ReplyDeleteA
I Agree with Anonymous. If anything, it made me want my spouse in ways that I was never brave enough to dicuss, but realized was needed.
ReplyDeletetheres a difference between spanking, handcuffing etc and such that goes on in the book than the beatings that go on in an abusive relationship, I have experienced both and they are vastly different
ReplyDeleteThere's also a difference in choosing these things versus doing them just to attract/keep a mate when you don't really want to - as is the case in these books some of the time.
ReplyDeleteYes, this is not a romantic story is about abuse. The BDSM relationship that Christian and Ana have is not healthy. Many people from the BDSM comminity has said that these book misrepresent them and have spoken against the message these books are sending. A healthy BDSM relationship is about trust and respect.
ReplyDeleteThank you Anonymous for 'getting' the point of the blog piece. If people read it more carefully instead of just knee-jerk reacting to a criticism of something they enjoyed, they would see that I support full exploration of whatever floats your boat within a relationship - including BSDM. To me that is a choice one makes as a knowledgeable and aware adult. The character Ana to me was NOT any of those things.
ReplyDeleteI have had to remove a few comments from this thread that were just derogatory. Who knew that a blog could stir so much enmity.
ReplyDeleteAsk yourself - Is the relationship described in these book the kind that you imagine for your daughter/niece/friend's introduction to physical relationship?