My Dream Date

Holeeeee Fuuuuck.  Was I flatlined when I picked these?

Ahh well I promised to write to whatever they were.  So here goes.

My dream date (noun) - sadly, yes, I DO have one.  Middle-aged.  Kinda teddy shaped.  Thinning hair maybe even balding.  Yes - the girl LOVES the chrome dome.  Goatee.  Smart.  Smart ass.  Big vocab.  Enjoys sports AND the arts (HA - find me one of those!).  Reads (Or one of THOSE!).  Little/no junk.  Drug free.  Listens.  Sober. Honest.  Employed.....and uh yeah breathing.  Bonus points if he sports some ink.  Triple bonus points if he can still sport a chubby. 

My dream date (verb) - Dinner.  Bonus if it's ethnic.  Maybe a drive with the top down (on his car not on me) or a stroll thru some little neighborhood weather permitting.  Maybe hand-holding.  Maybe not.  I decide.  Great conversation - the kind that makes you think you could talk to this person forever.  Mandatory good night kiss.  Not too wet.  Not too dry.  Not too much gropage.  Not too much tongue.  Makes another date without waiting that asinine 3 days or whatever bullshit that is. 

Times a wastin - so if you know (or are) someone who meets those criteria throw yourself in front of my car or something.