It Doesn't Matter How You Get There

I went out to run some errands today.  Mostly going to the bank to get rid of a couple years worth of pocket change.  My mom, gawd love her wrapped over $500 for me - a task I loathe.  I can't tell you how many times I almost took the jar to the Coinstar machine just so I could avoid wrapping it.  My mom looked like I had given her a new car and immediately sat and wrapped it all like a kid in some reverse kinda Christmas thing.

Anyway, I was out and driving around kinda aimlessly which I am prone to do when things get me too - too hard, too emotional, too empty, and too full.  As I drove though I realized I was close to the cemetery where my dad is buried.  Ironic how many times I end up there when I feel like I can't hold any more.  I go and I dump out all that there is with him, sort through and pick up the pieces that I really need and want while he keeps the rest for me.  In July it was too sad.  In November and December it was too much family.  In January and February it was too stressed.  Today I was none of those things.  Quite the contrary actually.  So why had I gravitated here?

My life has taken an amazing turn and I am excited to jump on see where it goes.  More excited than I have been in years about my career.  Excited about someone new in my life.  Light, happy, spring.  So why am I leaning against this tree crying?  Simply because the container is so fragile that it can't hold all of this unbounded energy and there are only a few ways to let some of it out - tears being one of them.  Happy tears today.  Relieved tears.  Who better to share them with than the person I always do?