Journey Vision 9/12/10

I am frazzled, fried, a real fucking mess.  Too much boi energy.  Too little time with my peeps.  Too few days left of work and at the same time too many.  The surface shifting under my feet like a horse's ass trying to shudder off the fly that is me.  Stumbling.  Falling.  My arms braced to catch me.  'Til I am shuffling my feet like an old man in bedroom slippers unsure.  Just too tired to give a fuck about much of anything.  

The tank light telling me I need to refill NOW.  There is nothing for it, but to reschedule some things and sit and embrace the deep quiet.  

I am not met by one of the Grandmothers as I usually am, but by one of the Grandfathers.  He motions for me to walk beside him.  We move off into the open grassland.  Before I know it, I am in the here and now  thinking about Chris.  Focus.  Back to the grassland where he waits for me.  We walk a while without speaking.  I am thinking about how to make the ChIP work and impending interviews.  Re-focus.  Back to the grassland.  He is still waiting for me.  We walk on.  Then I am re-running my budget in my head.  Focus.  Back to the Grandfather.  He sighs and shakes his head.  Daughter, you have forgotten how to be still.  Come.  

The tall grass prairie give way to sandy shore and water.  We stop at the edge of the sea.  He gestures for me to wade in and I do.  I begin to swim easily.  He's right.  It is relaxing, that alternating of flexing and relaxing of muscles, of rotation and breathing.  He waves good-bye to me, turns to go and disappears into the grassland that rolls down to the sea.  

Now what - I wonder?   

A small orca about my size surfaces next to me.  It has a juvenile playfulness and energy that suggests it is a calf.  We swim about a bit, he rolls onto his back and motions with his fins for me to lie on him.  No idea what is coming.  I trust and embrace him like a lover.  He wraps his flippers about me.  I feel restful there heart to heart with this being.  

He does not swim, instead we sink below the surface.  I struggle to breathe at first but then remember this is the Dreamtime where I can breathe underwater if I want.  I stop flailing.  We sink lower and deeper into the water.  First turquoise, then a royal blue, finally a deep dark indigo that leeches color from my eyes and the world is reduced to blue and the cold dead greenish white of TV glow.  We stop sinking and float - an orb in the Galilean thermometer of the deep blue purple water.  I don't know how long we stayed there.  I thought of nothing in that void except being right where I was.  

The Grandfather who greeted me upon my return just smiled and nodded.