Clearing

The past couple weeks have been rough. Bawling for no apparent reason last week. This week spikes of anger from equally unknown origin. WTF!?! At least this time I recognized that the mood swings did not originate inside me - altho they did find companionable emotions to work into a frenzy in there. In the past, it has sometimes taken me months to recognize that what I am feeling is not even mine! Last night as I moved thru a few Tai Chi forms, I noticed that my energy field had several gaping holes. How long had those been there I wondered? Why hadn't I noticed them. And dang had the field gotten small!

Giggling because sometimes the smart girl can be sooooo silly. I HAD noticed them. My emotional state had been at DEFCON 5 for weeks and I failed to associate that with anything. In fact, my logical brain was pretty sure that I was losing it as a result of all this woo-woo shit. Funny how persistent it is in trying to discredit it.

In an effort to keep the field intact, my energy field had grown smaller and smaller, tighter and tighter, and oh so restrictive. I was supposed to notice that, but obviously didn't with all the holiday stuff going on. When it could no longer shrink and maintain integrity, it began to crack. That's when the shit started to get in. I repaired the gaps easily enough, pushed all the negative goo that had accumulated out of my field and felt happy and light once more. The problem with leaving your energy field wide open or in allowing the cracks in your protection to develop unhindered is that there are a lot of energies looking for exactly that little crack to glom on to someone. The last few weeks they have been glomming onto me.

Note to self - Check the perimeter more often. And don't forget the nightshade or the Gordian energy knots!